The Psychology of Not Getting Rejected

Street sales psychology: why people reject you, how to break through, and what to say when they stop

Published January 1, 2026 ET

A Quick Note About the "Building Bidet New York" Publication

I have started a blog on Substack for my bidet business, Bidet NY. But I want to write genuinely interesting content, and avoid making it a diary. And I don't want to write about toilets or that kind of thing. I'd love for the articles to be more startup adjacent, provoked by ideas that come from working on the business, or research done while building the business.

Maybe I should just write about what tickles my mind on any particular week and not plan it out too much. But there are certain posts that I think I'd definitely like to see and work towards. Or are there? I don't really want to publish my numbers, my core strategy, or my valuable earned data from surveys. I more want to go through my thought process.

In my quest to build a street team, I can study the psychology of people, groups, and particular demographics. Who do I approach? Why? If I see 100 people, which one should I approach first? What do I say? What are my options? What's the strategy behind various approaches? Who's going to be most likely to buy? Why? How do I break the wall to start a conversation? People on the street who approach you are the worst, literally almost as bad as telemarketers--how do you break through the reflexive tendency to avoid, reject, and say no? How do you Jordan Belfort this shit?

These are pretty interesting questions, right? So, let's answer them...

Why People Reject You

Who do I approach? Why? Let's take Charlie Munger's "inversion" approach... how do we not get rejected? Why do people reject? It comes down to four things: 1) pattern recognition 2) cognitive load protection 3) social contract violation 4) loss aversion. So, the goal is avoiding those four things.

Pattern recognition is relatively easy to avoid. Don't have a clipboard, don't have an iPad, don't stand in place... The opposite would be having nothing or maybe just a bag, and approaching people. Screens are so last century anyway, I think the future of surveying is going to be with Meta glasses, or some alternative.

Cognitive load protection, social contract violation, and loss aversion are reflexive. More on how to break through those in a second.

What NOT to Do

Revisiting Munger's "inversion" approach, what do you NOT do?

"Do you have a minute?" — sounds like a trap
"Can I tell you about...?" — lose control instantly
"Hi, how are you today?" — sounds like a pitch is coming
Leading with your company name — nobody cares
Anything that sounds memorized

Breaking Through

Jordan Belfort solves cognitive load protection, social contract violation, and loss aversion in a process of "compressed trust building." You have to establish in the first 4 seconds that you're a sharp, enthusiastic expert. In the next 10 seconds you have to establish relevance to their lives. And from there you have to control the conversation frame.

On the street you have even less time, so you need to do the first two in roughly 3 seconds combined.

Belfort's broader framework is called the Straight Line system. The idea is that every sale is a straight line from open to close—your job is to keep the prospect moving toward the close without letting the conversation veer off into tangents. If it does, you gently steer it back.

The Three 10s — Before anyone buys, they need to be at a "10" (on a scale of 1-10) on three things:

They love the product
They trust you
They trust the company

If they're not buying, they're not at a 10 on one of these. Your job is to figure out which one and address it. On the street, #2 is probably the weakest—they just met you. So everything about how you carry yourself, what you say, and how you say it is working to build that trust fast.

The basic approach is to signal brevity (this won't trap them) and spark curiosity (say something unexpected).

"Hey! Are you open to being hit on right now? Just kidding. I do actually have 7 super-quick and interesting questions though. Will you die if you take (looks up, doing mental math to form an estimate) 47 seconds to answer? I'll only try to sell you something quickly at the end but it's fine if you don't buy anything because your answers will really help all by themselves."

Would that work? I wonder what number you say that would actually be the cutoff. 14? 15? 6? I do think what's good about that is that it catches attention, it asks a question (which triggers the brain to engage), it doesn't ask a no-oriented question (fights the reflexive no response), and it lowers defenses by being somewhat self-deprecating. It uses specific numbers like 7 and 47, which signals you're informed and organized. It doesn't diminish the time, so you're not effectively lying to the person within 2 seconds of talking to them. Metacommunication (talking about the convo itself) signals self-awareness and intelligence. Pre-acknowledging their resistance diffuses it. Honesty is unexpected, which creates trust quickly. And I'm not positive about this, but maybe saying something wild and then following it with something less extreme makes it sound relatively reasonable.

The Accusation Audit

Another great approach comes from Chris Voss--the "accusation audit", in which you preemptively list every negative thing someone might think about you before they have a chance to say it. This:

Disarms defensiveness before it forms
Makes you seem self-aware and non-manipulative
Anchors their expectations worse than reality, which makes your pitch sound better
Forces empathy — they'll often respond with "no, you're not that bad"

"I'm about to be the worst person you meet today—someone trying to sell you something in a park. But hear me out for 15 seconds."

Demonstrating Value

Another approach is to demonstrate value immediately:

"I'm surveying park-goers on eco-friendly habits—mind sharing your thoughts for a quick anon survey?"

Low-commitment entry, fallback to data collection. Positions you as helpful, not salesy.

Putting On a Hat

I do believe that it helps to "put on a hat" too, so to speak. What I mean is that it's not really natural to be a salesman. Motive often undermines the bias to truth, so having one that you refuse to shed naturally makes you less trustworthy. So, I don't think it's necessarily a quality most decent people get much of a chance to develop. That said, you can put on the salesman hat. "Turn it on". I think that's a matter of imagining the person you are trying to come across as...

Who to Approach

Ideal Candidates

People sitting alone, not on phones — low cognitive load, open to stimulation, not rushing.

Couples walking slowly, browsing — often homeowners, dual income, leisure mode.

People who make eye contact with you first — social openness signal, curiosity present.

Well dressed adults 30-55 years old — disposable income, often homeowners.

Trendy people — like new gadgets.

Eco-conscious people — will spend on things that save resources.

Parents with older children — stuck in place, make family-oriented purchases, kids create conversational openings.

Not Ideal but Workable

Solo walkers at a moderate pace need a strong hook to stop them. People eating on a bench can work, but be careful not to interrupt mid-bite. Dog walkers are forced to pause now and again but may be distracted. Small friend groups of 2-3 people can go either way—if one engages, others follow, but if a group member rejects the idea, it works against you.

Worst

Headphones in
Fast walkers
People on phone
Large groups (4+)
Very young adults (lower home ownership, less disposable income, less bathroom autonomy)
Anyone showing stress signals — they'll transfer it to you

Indicators of a Good Sale

Foreign
Health conscious (athleisure, fitness watches, yoga mats)
Elderly (can really benefit from bidets more)
Optimizers
Travelers

Time of Day

I honestly believe any time of day can be good if you're captivating enough, but there is a rough framework. Commuters and exercisers from 8am-10am? Nope. Remote workers, retirees, and tourists from 10am-12pm? Good. Lunch crowds from 12pm-2pm are meh—there's some time pressure but could work. Mixed leisure from 2pm-5pm is ideal. Post-work from 5pm-7pm is meh—people are decompressing, maybe a bit closed off.

Reading the Person

Another psychology thing is to anchor whatever you say to something about the person. Someone with a red bag--you like red, you're perfect. (uhm, for what?).

That brings up the bigger question--how do you tune what you say to the person to make it more likely to work? How do you use clues about the person to make inferences?

Tattoo?

"Do you fucking loooove toilet paper?"

Appeal to rebellious nature.

Crew cut?

"Bidets cost only $30 and improve hygiene by over 800%, why don't you have one?"

Appeal to reason.

Every person has something -- some bucket they fall in that you can use to identify the start of the script. From there it's more of an experiment, and some improvisation. But the amount of improvisation is very minimum if you've considered all the possible people and responses and prepared. That is a finite list.

Turns out there's a whole framework for this: DISC. It's a behavioral profile that categorizes people into four types. Learn to spot these in the first 60 seconds and you can tailor your opener and pitch accordingly.

D — Dominant (Red). How to spot: direct, fast-talking, confident posture, wants to lead the conversation. What they want: efficiency, results, control. How to sell: get to the point fast, don't waste their time with small talk, lead with outcomes and competitive advantage.

"This will save you X and make you better than Y."

Don't be wishy-washy, over-explain, or seem like you're wasting their time.

I — Influential (Yellow). How to spot: friendly, animated, talkative, expressive, makes eye contact. What they want: connection, excitement, recognition. How to sell: build rapport, be enthusiastic, tell stories, let them talk, focus on how the product will make them look good. Don't be too data-heavy, cold, or impersonal.

S — Steady (Green). How to spot: calm, patient, reserved but friendly, good listener. What they want: security, trust, time to decide. How to sell: don't rush, emphasize long-term relationship, provide reassurance and guarantees.

"No pressure, I just want to help."

Don't push for a quick decision, be aggressive, or seem untrustworthy.

C — Conscientious (Blue). How to spot: analytical, asks detailed questions, skeptical, methodical. What they want: data, logic, proof. How to sell: come with facts, stats, and specifics, be prepared for tough questions, provide evidence.

"Here's exactly how it works and here's the data."

Don't make vague claims, overhype, or seem disorganized.

Quick visual heuristics for the street:

Tattoos, edgy style? Probably I or D — lead with boldness, personality, or rebellion
Button-down, neat, analytical look? Probably C — lead with facts and logic
Relaxed posture, warm demeanor? Probably S — lead with reassurance and patience
Power suit, fast walk, AirPods? Probably D — be fast and direct or don't even try

The DISC framework isn't perfect, and nobody is 100% one type. But it gives you a starting mental model to adapt on the fly.

Groups

Another psychology thing is groups of people. I think maybe groups are the best because you can use them on each other.

For groups, engage one person to draw others.

The Pitch

Funnel Strategy

Taking a few steps back to the optimal strategy for my funnel. My primary goal is to get a purchase. My second goal is to get a follow. Third goal is the survey. Ideally they follow my Substack too! And subscribe! And recommend it to a friend! And post about it! And they buy some merch! You keep them going until you have exhausted the list.

My gut feeling is to lead with the survey. But I've also read that you should start with your primary goal in-case you're talking to someone who is high-intent. But my thinking is that the questions can kind of tell you how you need to approach the situation. If they know what it is and love it, most of the work is done. If they have no idea, it's a teaching and potential conversion moment.

The Core Pitch

If it does come down to it--"hey, kid. just give me the pitch"--what do you say? Toilet paper is ineffective, it just smears—like washing a plate with a dry paper towel. Ew. Bidets can be installed to existing toilets with no permanent alterations and start at only $30 for a perfectly acceptable quality model. Bidets are standard in Japan, Italy (smart, cultured places). And, since I'm the founder, I have code for 20% off.

One-Liners

It does sort of make you think though? What is one sentence you could say that would address 90% of apprehension? Like a vomit of rebuttals: "it's anonymous, you don't need to read anything, it's free, and it will 100% increase the quality of your day."

"Hold on—I'm trying to get a bidet in every bathroom in New York. It's under $100 to get one installed by my guys."

Handling Objections

The thing is, even with all that, you're going to get a lot of ehh, not right now. What do you do in that case? You can always go with:

"Wait! I'm trying to sell you something! You don't have to buy it but let me just tell you what it is!"

"Wait! I am trying to improve your life by like a thousand percent!"

"Wait! Just answer my questions really quickly, I'll walk with you. All you have to do is talk to me for 43 seconds!"

"Wait! I promise I won't fall in love with you!"

See... solid gold right there.

Specific Rebuttals

Now, how about that rejection again. This is the worst for someone like me because I hate to be a bother. I need to develop either a mental justification or some kind of competition that lets me get rid of this hang-up. First of all, I actually am trying to improve life for people, and they will benefit if they go for it. They will thank you for it. If someone asks you how you can live with yourself being so salesman-y, you can tell them that: "I genuinely believe I'm making the world a better place and that if you just take the chance to listen to me you'll actually be thanking me later, and (hopefully) calling me a friend (big smile)." Let's start with the basics:

"I'm not interested."

"Fair. Will you die if you answer 1 question though? Do you actually enjoy wiping your ass with dry paper like you're camping in the woods in your own home? Do you hate yourself?"

"I'm in a hurry."

"Okay I'll be super fast. I install bidets, they're cleaner than toilet paper. You don't have to wipe your ass. I can email you about it later if it's easier. I'm the owner so you get 20% off. Soon there will be one in every bathroom in New York."

"I rent."

"No permanent alteration! And we are 100% insured if anything goes wrong! Which it never does! Cuz we're awesome!"

"Sounds weird."

"Honestly it's weirder not to have one and you don't really get that until you get one, then it's obvious and you feel dumb and gross for not doing it sooner."

"I need to think about it."

"Don't think, thinking is bad for your complexion. Just be kind to yourself and get one. If you don't love it, I'll give you full refund. You don't risk anything. At the very least, give us a follow so you can see what you're missing."

"No thanks" (firm).

"All good. Would you mind answering a few quick questions for a survey? It's anonymous! Please."

Looping

This is another Belfort concept. When you hit an objection, you don't just answer it and move on. You "loop" back—acknowledge their concern, address it, then re-present the value. Each loop gets tighter until you've addressed the real issue.

The average sale takes 3 loops. Most people give up after one objection. The structure is:

Deflect (don't answer immediately—maintain rapport)
Loop back to re-establish value
Address the objection
Ask for the order again

So if someone says "I need to think about it," you don't just say "okay, here's my card." You loop:

"Totally fair. Let me ask you this—when you say you need to think about it, is it the price, or is it more that you're not sure it would work in your bathroom?"

Now you've identified the real objection. Address that, re-present the value, and ask again.

The key is that each loop gets tighter. You're not just repeating yourself—you're zeroing in on what's actually holding them back.

Deflecting Objections

Related to looping: don't answer objections immediately. When someone throws out "I'm not interested" or "I don't have time," your instinct is to respond directly. But that puts you on the defensive and lets them control the frame.

Instead, deflect—set the objection aside temporarily, maintain rapport, and loop back when the timing is better. This keeps you in control of the conversation rather than being reactive.

Example: "I don't have time."

"Totally get it. Quick question before you go—do you know what a bidet is?"

Now you've deflected their objection and re-engaged them with a question. If they answer, you're back in the conversation.

Chris Voss Techniques

Another gentleman who I think has some great advice is Chris Voss. Here's what he might say for this: your adversary is not the person you're speaking to—it's the situation. Don't be assertive. Be playful. It shows you're not a threat. And in the face of tension, do the late-night FM DJ voice.

Mirroring. For those prospects who say "I don't really have time for this," you mirror:

"Don't have time...?" (Pause 4 seconds.)

Them: "Yeah, I'm meeting someone in 15 minutes."

You: "15 minutes—got it. I'll take 30 seconds. If it's not worth it, you'll know."

Labeling. For those prospects who are not in an ideal state, like walking fast, you can say:

"It seems like you're in a hurry."

When you label someone's feeling, you literally move them from reactive to receptive.

No-oriented questions. We love these!

Shut up. After mirroring, labeling, or asking a no-oriented question, pause for at least 4 seconds.

Get to "that's right." Accurately summarize their world view back to them:

"So it sounds like you've heard of bidets, you think they're kind of a foreign thing, and you're not sure it would even work in your bathroom. And honestly, you've got more important things to think about than your toilet. Is that fair?"

Tonality

Voss mentions the "late-night FM DJ voice" for tension, but Belfort goes deeper on tonality. He considers it his secret weapon. The idea: people buy on emotion and justify with logic. Your tonality creates the emotion. Your facts provide the justification.

He identifies specific tones for specific moments:

Scarcity tone (hushed, like sharing a secret):

"I probably shouldn't even be telling you this, but..."

Absolute certainty tone — for stating facts about the product. No hedging.
"I care" tone — implied, not stated. Don't say "trust me," imply it with how you sound.
Reasonable man tone — for asking for the order. Calm, logical, like of course this makes sense.

The key insight is that you don't say you care or say "trust me"—you imply it with your voice. And when you speak to someone, your tonality should sound like that of a friend, not a stranger or a salesperson.

Exit with Grace

One good rule to always follow is to exit with grace. Be nice. Don't burn any bridges. Yadadadada. But worth noting. Don't need a bad reputation from someone talking shit to their 5 friends.

"Appreciate your time." (smile)

"No worries at all. If you ever get curious, we're Bidet New York. Enjoy the park."

"Thanks for hearing me out. You have a beautiful baby."

Maybe you can be so nice that later they google you and end up getting it.

Mindset & Morale

Of course, attitude and morale have a lot to do with everything. Staying positive is key. Even though 9 out of 10 approaches are likely to end in rejection. I've heard salespeople say this:

Don't internalize it
Your prospects will not remember who you are 20 minutes after you get off the phone, so it doesn't matter
Failure basically is success — being out there and doing it is success
Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, "Make me feel important." Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life
A-B-C. Always Be Closing
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there
Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better

Useful Stats

Grok also returned some useful statistics on bidet adoption in the US. Men are more interested than women (29% of men vs. 16% of women plan to buy). Millennials (ages 28-43) and Gen Z (ages 18-27) are most likely to try bidets—71% of millennials and 69% of Gen Z—prioritizing sustainability (reducing paper use) and innovation. They respond to eco-narratives, as they're eco-conscious and tech-savvy. Older adults (65+) are a growing segment, from 54M to 85M by 2040, and they value hygiene for health issues like mobility or incontinence. Aging populations seek practical solutions.

Operations & Tracking

Tips

Two is better than one — one person feels more like a sale, two people is a party
Get different demographic sellers
Move to different spots to avoid fatigue
Debrief daily to collect the best lines

Numbers to Track

Approach rate (people per hour)
Stop rate (percentage of people who stop)
Pitch rate (percentage who listens to the full pitch)
Conversion rate (purchase, follow, survey)
Objection frequency (which objections come up the most)

Demographic success rate: who converts best? Double down on them.